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Oh Eun-young, 22-year-old worried about divorce, "I need time for self-adjustment"
In MBC's 'Oh Eun-young Report - Marriage Hell', which aired on the 13th, the daily lives of a Tackle couple with four children of 14 years were revealed.
A pure man and woman who met on the bus on their way to school during their school years, were attracted to each other by their friendly nature, and decided to get married. However, the two came to see Dr. Oh Eun-young, saying they wanted to end this disgusting relationship that had lasted for over 10 years. On the surface, they seem like a good-natured couple, but when you get to know them, they are busy blaming each other for endless conflicts. Both the wife and the husband expressed their frustration, saying that they no longer even know why they are fighting.
The Tackle couple, who met by chance on a bus in high school and had a long relationship that ended up getting married, were extremely friendly, but sometimes they fought as if they were killing each other. The husband, who was married for a speeding violation when he was 22, said, "Even when we were newlyweds, we had a lot of arguments, and my emotions built up, so I got sick of it. I divorced at the age of 23, a year after getting married."
The wife recalled her past of marriage, divorce, and remarriage, saying, "We got back together a year after our divorce. We met again for our first child's birthday, and I felt comfortable watching her from time to time." However, my wife expressed her frustration, saying, "After they reunited, they keep fighting. Sometimes, I wonder if they fight because they are bored."
However, what awaited the two people who were looking forward to a new start was a chronic marital fight. On a weekend when the whole family is together, my husband works hard to prepare breakfast from early in the morning. However, my wife was dissatisfied, saying, “The kids all eat a simple breakfast, so why bother cooking it?” My husband couldn't hide his disappointment. While cleaning, my wife suddenly complained, asking, “Why did you take out the electric mat?” My husband's explanation that the children were cold was full of irritation and dissatisfaction. Afterwards, their disagreements continued over whether to make kimchi or not, and even whether the food should be salty or bland.
That evening, the two went to a beer restaurant to enjoy their first date. While spending time amicably, the husband told his wife about the night before. The husband took care of the youngest child, who suddenly started vomiting while his wife was out, and even cleaned up after him. However, he raised his voice, expressing his disappointment towards his indifferent wife without even saying 'I had a hard time'. The wife, who did not know that the child was sick, stormed out, saying, “What did I do so wrong?”
The next morning, unlike the husband, who felt relaxed as if nothing had happened, the wife was faceless, with her emotions from the previous day still intact. The wife suppresses her anger and tries to talk, but the husband is focused on avoiding it, saying, "I don't want to fight if talking doesn't solve the problem anyway." My wife, who had been suppressing her emotions alone in a house with four children, eventually secretly came out to the front of the house and shed profuse tears.
In response, Dr. Eunyoung Oh said, "They are both people who like to talk. The husband is more interested in emotional conversations, while the wife is more logical. I wonder what they were like when they were young." In response, the wife confessed her past, saying, "I was always compared to my younger brother, so I felt like he was doing well and I was doing wrong, and I was scolded."
Oh Eun-young said, "These people seem to think that when they grow up and someone expresses a different opinion, their existence will not be recognized. They are making claims to confirm my existence," and "If I do not make my claims, my existence will be nothing. “I think I was scared that it would end up happening,” he analyzed.
Oh Eun-young suggested a solution, saying, "A couple's listening evaluation is necessary. Use the recording function to listen to what the other person said. If you hear what you said, it will hit you hard." He also advised, “Take time for self-adjustment. After an argument, each person should take time to focus on themselves.”
Kim Ji-won, Ten Asia reporter bella@tenasia.co.kr
