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Singer Kim Hye-yeon, second daughter enters New York University, “Tuition alone is ↑ 100 million per year”
Kim Hye-yeon, who knocked on the door of the counseling center with an unusual 'event walk', passionately sang a medley of hit songs, heating up the atmosphere of the counseling center. Kim Hye-yeon then revealed the recent news that her second daughter out of four children was admitted to New York University in the United States and received congratulations from the counseling center family.
Before the actual consultation, Jeong Hyeong-don uncovers the secrets of giving birth to multiple children by Kim Hye-yeon, who is not only the queen of events but also the queen of fertility. When mentioning the rumor of her best friend Kim Ji-seon's surrogate breast milk, Kim Hye-yeon revealed that she raised her second child by breastfeeding her best friend Kim Ji-sun, the original fertility queen, due to low breast milk supply when she gave birth, making the studio burst into laughter.
As the consultation began in earnest, Kim Hye-yeon, a mother of four children and a ‘working mom,’ confessed her concerns, saying, “I feel like my family thinks of me as an ATM that dispenses money.” Kim Hye-yeon confesses that she cried alone out of sadness because she felt like she had become a money-making machine. He goes on to say that the tuition for his children studying abroad in arts and physical education “seems to be more than 100 million won per year,” and that he had no choice but to chase money because the monthly fixed living expenses were large. However, the children only remember their mother's absence, such as not being able to come to the entrance ceremony, and say that they are not aware of the efforts they made, which arouses regret.
Dr. Oh Eun-young analyzes that Kim Hye-yeon did her best for her family, but felt 'sad' when her family did not recognize her sacrifice. Accordingly, Kim Hye-yeon reminisces about the past five years ago when it was difficult to go on stage. He revealed that he was diagnosed with panic disorder at the hospital he visited because he was unable to sing properly even when he went on stage due to anxiety and difficulty breathing. After hearing this, Dr. Oh Eun-young tries to understand Kim Hye-yeon, saying that it seemed like it was the biggest crisis in her life.
Next, Dr. Eunyoung Oh mentions the 'motherhood penalty', which means that mothers receive a penalty in the workplace as a factor that maximizes the disappointment of working mothers. Accordingly, Kim Hye-yeon confesses that when she was pregnant, she went on stage while hiding her pregnancy due to the social atmosphere that required female singers to quit singing after giving birth, and revealed an anecdote about how she even made a costume to perform on stage so that she would not look full. Also, she surprised everyone by saying that even when she was at the cooking center after giving birth, she pretended to have given birth a long time ago in order to appear at an award ceremony.
After hearing this, Dr. Oh Eun-young realizes that Kim Hye-yeon is too focused on overcoming the penalty of motherhood. They advise that in such cases, there is a particularly high possibility of 'parenting guilt', and warn that parents with high parenting guilt may 'overcompensate' for their children. Accordingly, Kim Hye-yeon confessed that she overcompensated by eating because she could not attend her eldest son's basketball tournament, and that she felt guilty when her son developed childhood obesity due to excessive compensation and had to give up being a basketball player when his growth stopped. After hearing this, Dr. Oh Eun-young points out that Kim Hye-yeon has been engaging in 'one-way supply parenting' that focuses only on financial support, and advises that if this continues, there may be gaps in the child's life.
Kim Hye-yeon mentions an incident when her second daughter was young, and even the police were mobilized after her daughter said, “Someone is chasing me with a knife every day,” and confesses, “It turned out to be a lie that my daughter told because she wanted to get attention.” In addition, he confesses that his two sons have also had tics such as blinking or twisting their hair since they were young, and “I felt like my children were having problems because of my shortcomings.” After hearing this, Dr. Eun-young Oh comforted the children, saying that they must have been feeling anxious, and asked which child she felt most sorry for. Hye-yeon Kim revealed, “The first one is the sore finger.”
Kim Hye-yeon mentions that her eldest daughter has been living outside since she was young for golf training. As a result, during a mother-daughter trip last year, my daughter asked, “Can I sleep in the same room as my mom?” She confesses that when she heard the words, “I was worried about it,” she broke down because she felt like she had done nothing for her daughter.
Accordingly, Dr. Eun-young Oh asks whether the children are good at discussing things with Hye-yeon Kim. Kim Hye-yeon said that perhaps because she was a strict mother, the children did not often discuss things with their mother. She revealed an anecdote about how, when she recently gave career counseling to her second child, she said, “I will support you as much as you work hard,” rather than discussing it.
In response, Dr. Eun-young Oh criticizes Hye-yeon Kim for seeming to be an ‘achievement-oriented parent.’ It is analyzed that not only their own achievements but also their children's achievements are important, so they seem to focus on providing financial support to their children. In that case, warn children that they may give up communicating with their parents because their parents may not be able to support them emotionally.
Next, a video of the second daughter Go Min-ji's inner thoughts is released in the studio. In response to her daughter's confession, "I never told my mother even when I had a hard time studying abroad," Kim Hye-yeon shed tears and confessed, "I don't think I ever gave my daughter a warm word of comfort."
‘Oh Eun-young’s Golden Counseling Center’ airs every Tuesday at 8:10 p.m.
Taeyuna, Ten Asia Reporter youyou@tenasia.co.kr
