Kian84, a well-known South Korean entertainer, candidly shared his struggles in balancing his primary career in art with his broadcasting commitments and running.
On the October 17th episode of MBC's variety show 'I Live Alone,' Kian84 revealed his slump in painting and the stress he faces in his daily life.
During the episode, Kian84 expressed his frustration with statements like, "Ugh, this is annoying," and "I can't draw anything decent." He admitted, "I've been trying to work, but I can't seem to focus or immerse myself. I spend about three days a week painting, and while some pieces satisfy me, others don't. I feel like I'm in a maze."
Kian84 eventually covered a painting he had worked on for four months with white paint, expressing his frustration. When fellow entertainer Jun Hyun-moo suggested starting on a new canvas and adding layers when inspiration strikes, Kian84 confessed, "I got too frustrated. It's been a year and a half since my last exhibition, and I still haven't created anything I'm satisfied with."
To alleviate his frustration, Kian84 left his studio to purchase a plaster cast from an art supply store. He then visited fellow artist Kim Chung-jae's studio in Hanam, reuniting after a year and a half. "I naturally wanted to see Chung-jae because I was stressed from painting," he explained.
While sketching the plaster cast with Kim Chung-jae, Kian84 opened up about his struggles. "These days, I can't paint for more than five hours. I used to draw webtoons for 12 hours straight, but now my focus is scattered. I've only been doing art for three to four years, and sometimes I wonder if this is the right path," he shared. He added, "I've received many broadcasting offers this year, and if I had accepted them all, I might have been as busy as Hyun-moo. But if I do broadcasts, I can't paint, so I chose painting. I have many things I want to do, but time is limited, and I'm worried I might end up doing neither well."
Kian84 also discussed his concerns about running. Having run 240 kilometers in September, he admitted, "People say running energizes you, but I'm too exhausted to work." He also expressed his burden over his low output, saying, "Since my last exhibition, I haven't even completed 20 pieces in a year and a half."
After receiving comfort from Kim Chung-jae, Kian84 visited another friend, Lee Byeong-geon, known as Calm Down Man(침착맨). "I've painted about 20 pieces, but I think five are unusable. I'm not satisfied with what I've done. Balancing broadcasting, painting, and now running is overwhelming," he lamented.
Calm Down Man advised, "Then remove running from your life," but Kian84 was firm, "I can't give up running. It's my main focus now. I'm running 35 kilometers tomorrow." Hearing this, the show's members expressed concern, "35 kilometers is more than a half marathon," and "How can you paint after that? You won't have the strength to hold a brush."
Calm Down Man offered a unique suggestion to his friend who couldn't let go, "Incorporate your eccentric actions into your art as performance art. Paint your feet and run; that's art. Why separate the brush and your feet? Use them together," which brought laughter to the scene.
Kian84 expressed gratitude, saying, "Thank you for the advice." He reflected, "When I first started webtoons, I was excited to wake up in the morning, eager to tell a story. But as time went on, it became difficult. Now, painting feels the same. I'm not satisfied, and it's hard. But talking with other artists simplifies my thoughts, and that's how I resolve it."